The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old | 
| Authors: Harvey Karp, Paula Spencer
Publisher: Bantam
List Price: $14.00
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Rating:  115 reviews
Sales Rank: 1841
Media: Paperback
Pages: 336
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8
ISBN: 0553381431
Dewey Decimal Number: 649.122
EAN: 9780553381436
ASIN: 0553381431
Publication Date: May 31, 2005
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Product Description
Toddlers can drive you bonkers…so adorable and fun one minute…so stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of “nos” and “don’ts” into “yeses” and hugs…if you know how to speak your toddler’s language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize…cavemen.
Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language. When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of “evolutionary” growth, each linked to the development of the brain, and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind’s journey to civilization:
• The “Charming Chimp-Child” (12 to 18 months): Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a nonstop game of “monkey see monkey do.”
• The “Knee-High Neanderthal” (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy, with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being “no” and “mine.”
• The “Clever Caveman” (24 to 36 months):
Just beginning to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the potty.
• The “Versatile Villager” (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave.
To speak to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily effective techniques:
1) The “fast food” rule—restating what your child has said to make sure you got it right;
2) The four-step rule—using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your
irate Stone-Ager be happy again.
Once you’ve mastered “toddler-ese,” you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each stage of your child’s development, such as teaching patience and calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through “gossiping,” and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the toddler years—including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting and hitting, medicine taking — can be handled in a way that will make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your child.
From the Hardcover edition.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 110 more reviews...
 Many Techniques Really Work...although awkward at first March 18, 2004
428 out of 438 found this review helpful
Although the analogy to prehistoric man is overdone a bit, there are so many sensible, clear strategies to try with 1-4 year olds that really are working for us. Talking toddler-ese has really made a difference in the cooperation we are now getting from our 2 and 3 year olds. Mirroring their feelings and "wants" with short, repeated phrases that reflect the child's words, tone and body lauguage has quickly and almost magically stopped much of my toddlers' defiant, annoying behaviors. Karp emphasizes that what you say to someone who is really upset is less important than HOW YOU SAY IT. And his theory has proven itself to be correct in our home.The only suggestion in the book that I have a problem with is using a hook and eye latch to lock a child in his room even for a very short time-out. I feel this can be scary for the child and although it may get the child to know that you do mean business, I prefer not to get compliance from my children with fear, guilt or humiliation. Karp does suggest that you explain to the child in "toddler-ese" how the locking mechanism works so that he will know the door will not open when mom uses it. I also recommend another one of my favorite parenting reference books as a compliment to Karp's hardcover book called "The Pocket Parent". This is a very practical, quick read, little paperback book loaded with many positive discipline and communications tips written exclusively for parents of 2-5 year olds. Peppered with humor and organized alphabetically by behaviors such as: Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, the "Gimmees", Interrrupting, Morning "Crazies", and Whining...Pocket Parent is a real sanity saver. Both books will lift your spirits with specific ideas to try as well as loads of compassionte support from authors that have been there, too... especially when you feel you are just about at your wits' end with the little ones.
 No more dreading temper tantrums May 9, 2004
Tamar Meer (MI)
70 out of 76 found this review helpful
After having so much success with the Happiest Baby on the Block calming
techniques, I could not wait to watch The Happiest Toddler on the Block
by Harvey Karp,M.D.
My 22 month old grandson began to scream when I told him it was time to
go inside. I spoke "toddlerese" with much expression as suggested by Dr.
Karp.
I said, " No No No" you do not want to go inside.
He looked at me very surprised.
I said, "No No No" you do not want to go inside.
He looked at me again with his mouth wide open.
I said again, "No No No you do not want to go
inside, but we must take sister to potty."
---------he came with me without protest. In the past he
would have continued screaming for about 5 minutes and
I would have picked him up kicking and screaming.
Now I can't wait to read the book The Happiest Toddler on the Block Book to get
more helpful suggestions for the children in my family and in my
practice.
Phyllis Meer,RN, BSN,CPNP
and proud grandmother of 4.
 Not for us April 7, 2006
wecoyote
49 out of 68 found this review helpful
We were really hoping for a home run here, but it was a total strike out. This book was REALLY not for us. We don't feel as though you need to mimic a 2 year-olds behavior to convey that you understand how they feel. The whole idea that toddlers are like little Neanderthals, and you have to speak/relate to them accordingly (e.g. barking, "ANGRY...you want OUTSIDE...OUTSIDE...OUTSIDE, NOW!!" at your tantruming toddler who wants to go out to play)just isn't a realistic approach for us. As if that isn't awkward enough, the author suggests that parents actually furrow their eyebrows, bare their teeth and GROWL at children when they misbehave. I'm all for giving your kids "the look", but the whole concept was just too far-fetched for us. However, the author does point out that it is important for parents to communicate to their kids that they "understand" their kids' feelings. Apparently these methods have had success for some families, but if you're like us and the idea of reducing yourself to a neanderthal for a parenting technique just isn't in the cards, you might want to consider just telling it like it is to your children when it comes to discipline.
 Not Practical in the Real World October 4, 2004
J. Allen (Charleston, SC)
47 out of 59 found this review helpful
If Karp had not earned so much renown after writting The Happiest Baby on the Block this book would have been a joke. His technique in curbing toddler tantrums is to talk like a cave man to your child because it meets them at their level. That by itself wouldn't be so bad, but he urges parents to match the intensity of their child's tantrum, which I am certain would get some interesting looks in the grocery store! I tried this at home and it just made my toddler more angry because when he has a tantrum he is just not interested in reasoning at that moment, no matter how it is done! I think most kids are this way, when they are frusterated by something no amount of caveman speak is going to change that.
I was also disappointed that while The Happiest Baby on the Block was a great method for comforting babies to sleep without letting them cry alone, Karp endorses "cry it out" as one solution for toddler sleep problems. This is not a book for those who practice "Attachment Parenting".
The first part of the book, however, was interesting and entertaining as he descibes how babies grow and change, likening it to the evolution of man. It is an interesting similarity, but a bit of a stretch at times.
Instead I would recommend The Mother of All Baby Books by Ann Douglas. It is much more informative and a great reference book for parents with toddlers.
Great, as expected! March 4, 2004
B. Sipka (Santa Monica, CA United States)
46 out of 53 found this review helpful
I ran to the bookstore to get Dr. Karp's new book based on my experience with his phenomenal book about babies. I can say that Dr. Karp has proven how genius he is again. So simple, yet so powerful. No wonder he keeps coming back to Dr. Phil's 101 Parenting show. He has real advice that any parent absolutely needs to hear. It made my life so much easier. I am still practicing my "toddler-ese" but I can see immediate results. The book is not just helpful but it is FUN to read.
I have to say that, by adopting Dr. Karp's methods, I can enjoy my kids more. I have minimized daily struggles with them and maximized fun time we have together. That makes my kids love me even more, especially my 18 months old girl who is a real "Neanderthal in my kitchen".
Thank you Dr. Karp. I love your books! And I am looking forward to seeing your video about toddlers.
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