Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 11-15 of 474
 It's like a whole album's worth of the "rap" on the song "American Life" May 6, 2008
T. Rutledge (Michigan)
26 out of 41 found this review helpful
Let me preface this by saying I am a huge Madonna fan. I have bought every one of her releases on or near the date of their release going back to "True Blue" when I was 10 years old. Over the years I have liked some of her albums more than others (wasn't a big fan of "Bedtime Stories" although it had some decent tracks and was bored by "Ray of Light" but really liked "Music", "Confessions", "Erotica" and "Like a Prayer"). Hell, I even thought "American Life" (the album, not necessarily the song about soy lattes, etc.) had its charms.
That said, this release is not just the WORST Madonna album I have ever heard, it is among the WORST albums that I have ever had the displeasure of listening to and/or owning (and I own over 2,000 cds). This is complete dreck. Why she would team up with Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and The Neptunes NOW (in 2008) to make an album that sounds like it should have been released in 2004 is beyond comprehension. Granted, Madonna has never been as "cutting edge" as she has been given credit for being (i.e. "vogueing" was actually a fad that had passed by the time she released that song, 1994's "Bedtime Stories" was a retread of '92/'93 R&B, Vanilla Ice in the "Sex" book 2 years after he became a has-been was odd, and "Ray of Light" was about a year late on the electronica bandwagon). Nonetheless, she always seemed to have some strong music (and singles) to back up being a bit behind the trend-curve and was able to make it work.
This time around, there is nothing to recommend. The first track is completely insipid and a bit gross when you consider it is a nearly 50 year-old woman singing about letting you eat at her "Candy Shop" and later on down the line we hear another little ditty about how "sex with you is amazing" (repeated about 10,000,000 times, apparently in order to flesh out an entire track's worth of music with some sort of semblance of "lyrics").
The music is just like the album cover - ridiculous, cheap-looking (sounding), unimaginitive, stupid, awful, over-the-hill, washed-up and incredibly meritless. This woman has been around nearly three decades and has sold tens of millions of albums, and the best she could come up with for a producer was Justin Timbelake and his crew? If she wanted to have sex with Justin Timberlake, she should have just slipped him some GHB rather than waste an entire album's worth of sessions seducing him under the "guise" of attempting to make "music" with him and his "producers"). (That said, she must be one bad booty call, because from the sounds of this thing, he gave her the leftover rejects of his last two albums.)
Again, I have every CD this woman has ever released, including "special editions" of some, so I am not coming on here as some Madonna-hater looking to get my rocks off by ripping on her "homosexual music". But, this one really is a complete dog. It is the musical equivalent of "Shanghai Surprise".
Basically, to sum up, think of it this way -- remember how bad and embarrasing the "rap" on the song "American Life" was when you first heard it? Remember how you felt embarrased for her? Remember how utterly awful lyrics about pilates, hotties, and not being a "christian or jew" seemed? Now imagine that concept expanded to entire album's worth of material.
 Come Into Her Store, She's Got Candy Galore April 29, 2008
Rudy Palma (NJ)
24 out of 31 found this review helpful
"When the lights go down and there's no one left I can go on and on and on" chants Madonna three tracks into her new LP "Hard Candy," and with the Queen of Pop staring down her 7th stateside chart-topping album such a claim is more than justified. The living definition of pop music chameleon, she indeed offers a delicious array of confections precision-tooled to hit a listener's sweet tooth. There is some padding, and no obvious follow-up single exists for mega-hit "4 Minutes," but this does the album no disservice. Madonna manages to acknowledge her past and keep things contemporary all the while avoiding pretense or retreads, making for a wholly interesting recording.
Collaborating with the likes of Timbaland and Justin Timberlake has caused some to question whether Madonna is taking the easiest possible route to continued pop success, but the most obvious - and fortunate - thing about "Hard Candy" is that it is wall-to-wall Madonna both in songwriting and atmosphere. Rather than grafting herself on to their winning production values she ingeniusly uses them to amplify her material. The result is an album plum full of dancefloor-ready anthems and a smattering of low-key ballads that manage to be mainstream yet cutting edge.
Sizzling club thumpers like the suave "Dance 2night" and ultra-addictive "Give It 2 Me," for example, recall the awesome, frenetic energy of 2005's "Confessions On a Dancefloor" but would still sound at home on Top 40 radio. Elsewhere, the bittersweet "Miles Away" has one of the most poignant, endearing hooks of any ballad in Madonna's lengthy catalogue.
Opening the floodgates of engrossing, colorful melodies is "Incredible" with its incessant, yearning energy. "Beat Goes On" featuring Kanye West packs similar zest, and "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" percolates with raw sexual energy, icy snyths and a frothy, guitar-laden melody.
The sexy, slinky "Heartbeat" with its mercurial melody and awesome vocals is destined for radio waves, and "She's Not Me," despite being over-long and not quite finding its hook, contains one of Madonna's most intriguingly self-referential lines. Comparing another woman to "the flavor of the month," she makes her declaration:
"She's not me/She doesn't have my name/She'll never have what I have/It won't be the same."
Indeed, pop stars come and go by the dozen, but through it all there is only one Madonna.
Through two and a half decades' worth of trends, fads and fashions Madonna has rarely lost her footing and always come back roaring, and "Hard Candy" reveals her inner lioness in a way that is not only totally late 2000's but totally listenable. She re-defined musical boundaries not only for women but pop artists in general for many reasons, and artistic stagnation is not one of them. This is definitely a "Candy Shop" worth many return visits.
Something Went Wrong! April 30, 2008
Music (Lafayette, Louisiana)
23 out of 48 found this review helpful
I first became a Madonna fan back in 1982 with her hit "Everybody", an from that time I watched her rise to stardom. Nothing but hits flying in such as "Like A Virgin,Holiday,La Isla Bonita,Like A Prayer,Vogue,Frozen,and so many more.I purchased all the albums and loved how she just kept getting better and better. That all stopped when she released the 2000 album "Music". I found myself only liking one song of the album, titled "Don't Tell Me". Since that time, nothing she has released as been a liking to my ears. I tried so hard to listen to "Music","American Life",& "Confession On A Dance Floor". I just could not get myself to like them. In late 2007, I heard she was releasing a new album, I still get worked up when she about to release it. Like always, I rushed out to the music store the day of release and purchased the album. I am really disappointed in this album, there is nothing really to offer here. It sounds like alot like Britney Spears throwaway songs. The only decent track here is "Give It 2 Me", but it's not a jaw dropping song. I am sure the album will sell well, just as everything else she releases.The first single "4 minutes",is not all that great, it sounds like it came from Justin Timberlake's album. The album does have an r&b taste to it, but Madonna did that awhile back in 1994 with "Bedtime Stories", which Babyface produced and that album came out fantastic. Still to this day my favorite Madonna album remains "True Blue", not following far behind is "Like A Prayer","Ray Of Light","Immaculate Collection","Erotica",and "Bedtime Stories". Hopefully she will get back to her roots one day. I would really like to see Madonna do another album "Ray Of Light" but I still love her and hope she can get back to great music again soon. Her last decent track in my opinion is 2000's "Don't Tell Me". I wish Madonna would team up again with "Stephen Bray", he wrote alot of great songs for Madonna. I'd still recommend this to any Madonna fan!
Is this a bad rendition of Gwen? May 3, 2008
B. Castro (Redding, Ca United States)
23 out of 42 found this review helpful
I've been a die hard fan of Madonna since DAY ONE. Unfortunately, this CD is worst than Gwen's second album, on a really bad day. Superficial, shallow and BUBBLE GUM. Speaking of Candy. The lyrics are so bad, I think her daughter wrote them for her... or maybe she should have.
sticky and sweet... under your shoe, where it doesn't belong May 5, 2008
cherubino (Houston, Texas United States)
21 out of 32 found this review helpful
Chalk me up as another longtime Madonna fan that isn't impressed with her latest offering. Some of these songs sound truly cheap, the kind of stuff you hear after last call at the club, when everyone's tired and drunk. I mean really, why is everyone so jazzed about tracks like The Beat Goes On?
The opener, Candy Shop, isn't half bad, but unfortunately things mostly go downhill after that. 4 Minutes, well that's just Madonna having a MTV TRL moment. All over the place, there's examples where her production team dropped the ball. Take Heartbeat, which starts off promisingly but goes nowhere.
The only two tracks I really enjoy are Miles Away and Voices. Miles Away is Madonna, not her busted-down ghetto sister M-Dolla. I swear she sounds like Susan Ottavio from Book of Love, at the beginning of the song. Voices, on the other hand, is a haunting, wistful dirge that is spoiled by distorted voice. This one is crying out for a goth/synth makeover. Why not ring that funereal bell more than once at the end?
My God, to think that the last time she tried this, we got Bedtime Stories, my vote for her best album ever. That set of producers and collaborators did justice to the Queen of Pop. With Hard Candy, I think this boxer, ahem, music star should be stripped of her title!!!
|
